I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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