so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
