wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
