I hope mine doesn't look like that
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
