She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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