New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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