He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
