all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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