I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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