It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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