Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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