Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
