Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
