it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
