Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
