Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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