Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
