she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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