I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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