Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
