scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
