Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
