But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
