So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
