New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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