GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
