Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
