Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
