I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
