i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
