shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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