When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
