I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
