went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
