I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
