I cockslap morals
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
