yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
