...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
