this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
