How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
