he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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