absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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