My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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