A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
