i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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