So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
