I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
