Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
