Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
me + whiskey = a bad person
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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