she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
