you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
