it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
