Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We need to get me chipped asap
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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