did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
