Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
